Feelings don’t need fixing- they need witnessing

For generations, society has painted emotions—especially for those who identify as men—as something to be hidden or suppressed. Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness, and the message has been clear: keep your feelings to yourself, and you’ll stay strong. But what if we’ve been looking at this all wrong?

Emotions are not burdens or flaws. They’re messengers, guiding us toward deeper understanding and healing. And the key to unlocking their potential lies in something called interoception—the ability to sense what’s happening inside your body. Think of it as your body’s superpower, one that society may have conditioned you to ignore but that has the potential to transform your emotional health.

From a young age, many of us learn to suppress our emotions. For those raised with messages to “be tough” or “don’t cry,” there’s often little room to embrace vulnerability. As adults, this creates a disconnect between mind and body, where emotions go unacknowledged and unprocessed. Instead of feeling them, we often distract ourselves. Maybe it’s hours of scrolling through social media or binge-watching TV—anything to avoid discomfort. While these distractions might feel helpful in the moment, they don’t solve the problem. The emotions don’t go away; they wait, manifesting as tension, restlessness, fatigue, or even physical pain.

Ignoring feelings keeps us stuck in a cycle of disconnection, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Interoception is the ability to tune into the internal signals your body sends—things like hunger, thirst, or even emotional states. It’s the skill that helps you notice when your chest tightens with stress, your shoulders slump with sadness, or your stomach knots with anxiety. According to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, author of How Emotions Are Made, emotions aren’t hardwired reactions; they’re constructed experiences created by your brain as it interprets signals from your body and surroundings. By paying attention to these sensations, you can begin to understand what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Are you holding onto unprocessed grief? Is there an unmet need creating frustration? Your emotions carry important messages, and interoception gives you the tools to listen.

When we suppress feelings, they don’t disappear—they often get louder in the form of physical symptoms. Think of interoception as a translator, bridging the gap between your emotional and physical experiences and helping you process what’s really going on.

Of course, this isn’t always easy. Our conscious mind often resists discomfort, preferring to avoid difficult feelings out of fear or habit. That resistance is normal—it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you from pain. But the truth is, the more we avoid our feelings, the more power they gain over us.

The good news? Interoception is a skill that anyone can develop. It’s not about perfection or forcing yourself to feel a certain way. It’s about learning to listen to your body’s language with curiosity and compassion. Over time, this practice strengthens your emotional resilience, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges with stability and grace.

If you’re ready to start reconnecting with your emotions, there are a few simple practices to try. One powerful way to ground yourself is by practicing coherent breathing, a technique where you breathe in for a count of 5 and out for a count of 5. Research from Dr. Stephen Porges, author of the Polyvagal Theory, shows that slow, steady breathing helps regulate your vagus nerve, which plays a key role in calming your nervous system. This creates a sense of safety, making it easier to sit with your emotions without feeling overwhelmed.

Take time to write about your feelings. Where do you notice them in your body? What thoughts come up when you sit with these emotions? Journaling can help you uncover insights and release pent-up tension. You might also try mindful movement, like yoga, stretching, or even a gentle walk. Movement helps connect you to your body and can release stored emotional energy in a way that feels natural and soothing.

Tuning into your emotions doesn’t just benefit you—it creates a ripple effect in all areas of your life. When you develop interoception, you gain greater self-awareness, build more authentic relationships, and create a deeper sense of emotional balance. Feeling your feelings is not a weakness—it’s a profound strength!

By embracing emotions as messengers rather than enemies, you give yourself the gift of growth and connection. And in doing so, you help break the stigma for others, too.

Breaking the stigma around emotions is not just an individual journey—it’s a collective one. When we allow ourselves to feel, we open the door to greater understanding, healing, and strength. So, take it one step at a time. Start small, and know that every moment you spend listening to your emotions is a step toward a more authentic, empowered version of yourself.

Your feelings are not your enemy—they’re your guide. And the more you learn to listen, the stronger you’ll become.

XOXO,

Coach Coop